Fasting is an important activity in a politician’s life. It marks their coming of age; following the footsteps of our former leaders like Gandhi and Nehru, who used fasting as a means to fight injustice and protest against the draconian laws. Perhaps it was also because they were too bored to eat a handful of rice every day. If only we had McDonalds and Domino’s back then, fasting wouldn’t have been invented.
Nevertheless, fasting has become a mainstay in the current politics. Politicians believe the ability to hold long fasts is an important skill to add to their repertoire. Politicians must fast at least once in their life, with ‘taking naps/ sleeping/ blacked out after drinking’ being their most preferred activity during the process. Therefore, it is imperative for aspiring politicians to get a good grasp on this subject.
Fasting, as defined in the “Kuttapan Handbook for Excessively Long & Short Definitions” is “an act of self-depriving oneself by refusing to indulge in a quotidian yet delightful activity of gustatory pleasures, to demonstrate your dissatisfaction at current events or in other words, protest between meals.” Thus, here are some rules you must follow to ensure you fast effectively:
1. Precede your fasting with a proper meal: While the coterie of Ajay Maken believes in chhole bhature, we suggest you have meals with high fibre and carbohydrates such as bread, pasta, rice along with vegetables and fruits. This will not only satiate your taste buds but also stave off hunger while you sit in a dharna.
2. Duration and time window: Keep your fasting window from 10 am until 4:30 pm. This gives you enough time have a heavy breakfast, while you can beat the traffic to go home early to watch the IPL match.
3. Auspicious season to fast: To gather maximum benefits from your fasting ritual, pick dates during the navaratri season or in the month of Ramadan. This ensures you will have a fruitful present life and enjoyable after-life.
4. Ideal weight loss program: Science behind intermittent fasting could be the main reason for the burgeoning of protests through fasting. With benefits such as longer lifespan and accelerated weight loss, you will have a longer, fitter and more successful political career compared to your rivals.
5. All you need is a cause: BJP leaders fasting against unproductive budget session taught us a new lesson in this topic. The reason for the protest is not as important as the protest itself. In fact, you can protest for a cause, even if you are the cause for protest.
As we reach the conclusion to the first piece in the series – “How to become a Politician”, the author beseeches the readers to support this venerable activity by fasting tonight from 10 pm to 6 am. You may sleep during this time but dreaming of doughnuts would render it worthless.
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